There’s a simple problem with driving an expensive car: you’re not always in it.
Sometimes there will be moments, horrible, heartbreaking moments when everyone around you won’t know that you own a vehicle that makes you objectively better than everyone else.
But friend, dry your oozing eyes and moisten your face. Because Mercedes-Benz has teamed up with Master & Dynamic to create several headphones that will finally let the people around you know how idiotic, disgusting and destitute they are.
That’s why the two companies recently announced the launch of five different headphones, as well as a wireless charging pad.
We can ignore some of these. I’m sure the MW75 Mercedes-AMG, MG20 Mercedes-AMG, MW08 Sport and MC100 Charging Pad are all decent pieces of hardware, but they’re hardly going to let the public know how rich and important you are.
No, friends, our focus should be on the real gems of this story: over-ear MW65 Mercedes-Benz headphones and true wireless MW08 Mercedes-Benz earbuds.
Why? Well, if you have to ask, maybe not earn to walk around with a few cans decorated with a luxury car brand logo.
If I have one criticism of these products, it’s that the logo isn’t big enough.
Sure, people can see the Mercedes-Benz logo, but are they attacked by it? Are you fascinated by it? Cherished by it? Do they pass you and tremble, especially in the knowledge that you are their superior?
Currently, if someone passes you on the street with the headphones in their current version, there’s little chance of them being flung onto the tarmac by the sheer breath-taking scale of the surf.
And this is a mockery. I mean, what else is there to spend over $500 on the over-ears and over $300 on the true wireless earbuds if it’s not to force the public into submission?
Hopefully this is a wake-up call for hardware makers everywhere.
The point of any electrical item is not: doing everything – it’s all about being. Everything we own should be a portable billboard, a board full of premium brands.
I mean, how else can people know how poor and ugly they are?